Lazy day.

The sun is shining in our lives, the heat embraces us in a gentle way and the wind is caressing and cooling our hot bodies. 
But Bella needs a pool to feel completely satisfied. 
Luckily we have found another pool where we not are being told of all the time:)
At this place they jam the music, focus on friendliness and that the kids should have fun.
The life guards play with the kids, encourage them in the water and let the kids be kids.
And when the swimming quote is filled and its time to leave that place a happy daughter and a smiling mom is walking out those gates without having been told off, yelled at for wearing wrong shoes or been swimming in a wrong way. 
A lazy day sprinkled with gold!

Detoxing. Again!

New day, new week and new start!
Sugar detox is about to begin.
I can not believe I'm doing it again though.
Just love sugar!
I think I'm born with that white poison running through my veins and that is why it seems impossible to get rid of that craving. 
But, it's not good for you I heard so I'm giving it another try.
So the challenge right now is to make a bowl of oatmeal ( among other things) look tempting, be mouth-watering and irresistable to your tastebuds ( without sugar) and hope the detox will last at least to lunch:)
'wish me good luck!

A soft world...

If  you collect all pillows, blankets, chairs and other necessary stuff you would need and can find, it is possible to build a fort. 
A fort big enough to hold two girls, dolls, soft toys and a lot of dreams. 
It might be that you don't recognize the room when you enter but after a bit of orientation and searching you realize this "mess" in your eyes is actually a well planned, highly advanced and creative solution of a perfect sleepover place.
It invites you to cuddle up under soft blankets, share secrets and take a break from the real world. 
The teamwork, the ideas and that nothing is impossible are qualities i really hope the girls will keep.
And by judging from the giggling they also kept a positive spirit all threw their hard work in creating this soft world. 
Dreams, hopes and soft, cozy hugs...
What a perfect way to end a Thursday:)

We are family!

I feel a need to be dwelling this "bird leaving the nest" theme.
So what also hit me in all this was all the good thing we experienced as a family. 
We suddenly seemed so united, so tight and so supportive of each other.
All of us!
Everyone helped to set up the student room, everyone joined in for the smallest errand, and everyone went together to all those activities our oldest wanted us to join.
One for all, all for one.
That teamwork, the commitment and the obvious in being there for him just got my heart to overflow. 
The longing for my son will of course always be noticeable in the family but he is alive, he is in good mood and somehow this separation made us all aware that WE ARE FAMILY!
We have each other!
And we wI'll always be there for whatever direction life takes us.
That is a good feeling.

To cut the cord...

I'm now one experience richer.
An experience that has been including emotions spanning from happiness to pure grief and everything in between. 
To drop off a child far far away from the mom must really be the final attempt to cut the cord.
So painful and mentally draining.
On the other hand, beyond all those tears lies excitement, pride, hope, expectations, belief  almost a weird feeling of relief.
When I looked at my son's sunny face I realized that this is his choice, his life and his dreams that are about to start now. 
And through my tears I so respect that.
We, his family, has provided and prepared this platform for him to start live on his own, since he was born.
i can only hope that this base is strong enough to carry him and withstand any kind of storms that sometimes occur in life...
So many thoughts that are running through.
Have we done enough, have we done right, could we have done things differently?
I so want him to have fun, to succeed, to embrace life, to take chances and challenges, to laugh, feel and grab every beautiful moment life offer.
I guess time will show...
'But then again, it's his life.
Although judging from the big smile in his face, the sparkles in his eyes and that confident aora surrounding him, I think we are off for a good start.
Back home the rest of the family will learn how to deal with all those emotions coming from your heart when someone is missing.
I think I will also start a "forget-choosing-a-university-far-away-from-home-campaign" for the other kids.
Just to be egoistic.

The time has come...

So the time that I've been both dreaded and excited for has come.
The time that will be a huge step for my oldest son...
The time has come for him to leave the nest.
(View from our hotel room)
For two days now we are going to create a base for him, a home away from his old home and a place for him to grow on his own.
Keeping us busy will also keep all emotions to behave but we will see on Sunday when it's time for us to leave...
So time to get going and start the day before the tears are...

Pool plans...

Our house is expecting...
A pool!
After a long process back and forth I think the kids can consider themselves winners in this discussion but I also think the house itself feels grateful. 
It has kind of been missing that pool thing in order for it to be complete:)
The garden is ready to welcome this new addition only with a few changes.
Bushes will be separated and opened up for soft curved steps, the stairs in the very back of the garden suddenly seemed to get a purpose and the green lawn is ready to share a piece of its area. 
The summer is so much longer here, Sweden only attractive for a shorter amount of time for some in the family and workrelated reasons for the kids to spend time in the US during the summer are getting more prominent.
So a pool would actually not be of waste...
'At least that is how we reason :)
For now my mind is busy with my oldest son leaving the nest though but I guess the pool plan will be a welcoming distraction for a mom dealing with separation pain.
Yup! A pool it is!

Back in the USA

So we are back!
Only writing a short update to give you a sign of my existent.
I swapped my parents for my own family, my down jacket for dresses and sandals, the countryside for a concrete jungle and my summer bubble for reality. 
Not too bad either:)
A small welcome commite ( hubby and daughter) greeted us with a banner and gifts. 
I must say then it was not so painful leaving Sweden behind:)
I have gained almost 5 kg ( 10 pounds) during the summer but since I believe it's mostly love ( I wish) I will use it to distribute small portions for future extra needs If Sweden is calling…
Yup, ready to get back in business with a heart full of love, a mind full of memories and surrounded by the best people I know:)
Did I say I'm so grateful?!

A day in the spirit of Feng Shui.

Time to round off my stay in Sweden!
And I think I did it with a kick:)
After an annual Feng Shui ( one young member in my family calls it Feng sushi...) meeting in the Swedish archipelago with my former teacher and one of my "classmates" I feel my ego got boosted, my soul nourished and my heart hugged.
In rain and shine we shared life issues, ideas and projects. 
We also found time to jump, laugh, eat, shop and laugh a little more.
Even though it was so rainy and grey the clouds almost touched the roof of the car when we drove back my mind was light and packed with inspiration and a desire to get this Feng Shui business of mine going. 
With all this positive energy running through my veins I'm ready to leave Sweden and take on US with all that entails.
Im so grateful for life!

A summer with my parents

One of the reasons I'm here all summer are my parents. 
They are not so "travelized" and prefer to stay put.
And if the montain doesn't want to come...
So during my weeks here we fill them with laughs, nagging ( I sometimes become a parent to my parents), hugs, trips, worrying, silence ( to share comfortable silence is actually very peaceful), dinners and love.
(Hi hi, this last picture is kind of significant for our activities together:))
I so love my parents. 
According to Bella they are caring, nice, huggable, remember birthdays, always giving kisses and are old...
My wonderful dad who is still in a fight with his body and mind. 
This time ( since the treatment went well) he is battling other demons and is sometimes in his own sad little bubble not really reachable.
My beautiful mom who is doing this journey with my dad with the same energy and attitude like a warrior. 
And then me who wish I would have a magic wand but instead only can offer time, hopefully some relieve and support when needed and of course a lot of company.
The mental climate during the past summers here has literally been like the weather.
Rainy, warm, cloudy and grey, thunderstormy, windy, and sunny.
Everything sprinkled with togetherness, understanding and acceptance ( to a certain level 😜) and love in lots.
The goal of every summer with my parents is to share joy, experience things and be together.
I do think we succeed also this time:)
Thank you parents for being who you are!

Happiness in a vase

Only a few days left now and I'm walking around in my house squeezing out the last drops of the summer atmosphere. 
I realized I did not have time, desire or inspiration to do anything about coziness this summer.
I added new furniture for my little terrace but that was it...
'All throughout the summer I made sure I always had fresh flowers though:)
So when the sun has been shining with its absences the flowers have filled the gap with both uplifting energy and also added a sense of warmth with its vibrant purple colors. 
I only wish I could get a sun tan from them as well…
All flowers are good.
Picked in a garden, in the free nature or bought in a store.
Mix in green leaves and there will probably be enough for another vase. 
An easy way to get a feeling of some happiness.
Especially a rainy day like today.
Try it!

A magical place

Yesterday was my birthday and I celebrated myself by doing absolutely nothing.
No trips, no documentation, no party, no extravaganza, only time for contemplation and later a dinner with my parents. 
Qiet, calm and kind of necessary. 
The other day Bella and I went to a magical place though...
A place that offered beauty, peace, kittens, pigs and chickens. 
A place with fragrant flowers, wonderful cardamom buns, goldfish in a pond and secret pathways through the vegetation.
A place for just being...
Together with the rest of Sweden's population that is... 😜
Kids friendly, eye friendly and tummy friendly:)
A very inspiring soul trip!
But when I asked Bella what she thought was best with the day, she said "mom, I just love being with you"!
After 8 weeks of 24/7 being together...
When I thought about it, most of the magic with that place layed in those words.
i so love my daughter!

A trip to the top!

With the purpose of getting two lovebirds out for some fresh air we headed out to one of my favorite places for outdoor activities. 
It kind of have a magical impact on everyone passing through that fairytale forest. 
Rocks are jumped on, tress are climbed and hills are being run up as quickly as possible. 
No matter what age...
Sometimes you need help getting up but if you have a strong big brother there is no problem even when you aim for the biggest tree:)
When most of the trees were climbed we were also up at the top and were greeted with an endless view of the surroundings. 
Whitch of course needed to be documented by everyone in our company. 
I could not think of a better way to spend a Sunday :)
Wellness for both body and soul!

Where did the summer go?

I only have a week left here in my little paradise in Sweden. 
A week!
Where did the summer go?
The pictures below are from our first week here (7 weeks ago) and the day welcomed us with a promising blue sky, fields of flowers and an embracingly summerish temperature.
We would have the whole summer ahead of us.
And now that summer is behind us instead.
Usually I come here to stop time.
This year it did not seem to work...
'I really try to catch all those moments but today I almost feel it has been too many of those.
Like I will not be able to cherish them all.
So my last week here will go in the snail's sign. 
I will experience, smell and feel every single day left here in small portions and slow tempo so I have a chance to digest...
And I'm not only talking about cinnamon rolls:)

My sisters...

Now all my sisters are gone for this summer.
Its the same procedure every year. 
Two weeks filled of laughter, ice cream, cousins, beach, "scootering" and love. 
But also tears, frustrations, exclusions and irritation. 
Facing all these issues are of course very painful but luckily, since we are sisters, everything is kind of wrapped in a soft blanket of togetherness, understanding and love which makes it easier to heal...
And then we are back to laughing again:)
My sisters!
They are like different kind of beautiful roses that together makes a rose garden!

Kittens, antiques and carrot cake.

The other day me and my sisters took a little trip out in the Swedish countryside to go visit a barn filled with antiques.
To the kids delight they also had kittens. 
And to the moms delight they served home made carrot cake and other goodies:)
They did not have so many things that appealed to me so focus steered in to the directions of the kittens. 
So cute, so small and so unpredictable. 
From cuddles to scratches so to speak:)
But it was a sunny day, sisters and cousins around and I was served a tasty carrot cake. 
A perfect way to spend a summerday!

Another birthday.

My oldest son went from 18 to 19 years old today!
My beautiful, soft, sweethearted, stubborn and quiet son.
My annoying, intellectual, teasing and loyal oldest. 
I can not tell him enough how proud I am that he is what he is (!). 
How he irritates me, worries me, makes me laugh, cry, think and react.
This wonderful young man celebrated his 19th birthday today. 
I can just say "wow".
And pat myself on my shoulder 😜...

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