Home!!!
Cuckoooo!
Finally home!
We did not have a difficult flight at all but always so so relieved when we have safe ground under our feet.
Fear of flying!
That's my middle name!
Weeks before I'm going on a plane ride my tummy just clench only by the thought of it.
When we get closer to departure date my brain gets involved too.
Sleeping problems, irritable mood and a deep desire to cancel everything.
I have read every safety reports, every incidents of each airline and watched all the videos about how to calm you down when scared of flying.
And i do feel better for a moment.
Till I'm in my seat...
Then I start watching the air hostesses in action.
Trying to read between their body languages.
Watching every passenger to see if I can find any suspicious sign of a terrorist.
Me prejudiced?! Not at all...:)
If I can't find anything upsetting I turn my focus towards the little tv screen.
If that does not work properly the whole entire system on the plane is probably about to fail.
Its just a matter of time...
Then I'm starting to watch the flight attendances again.
But maybe they are not yet aware of what's going on with my screen.
They probably don't know that the plane is soon loosing control...
And sometimes I think that if the camera does not work it's just because a higher force does not want us to see us crashing...
It is sick I know.
But still real in my "fear of flying" bubble.
If I'm travelling with the kids and they are talking to me, I'm telling them to be quiet.
Can not talk right now...
I don't like when I'm going with the kids.
I need to concentrate on my own anxiety...
100 percent.
If turbulence strikes I'm trying to remember that plane are built to withstand this.
But for some reason the very plane I'm flying with, that's the only plane they forgot to go through with the checklist...
When we land I'm utterly drained.
I have emptied all my adrenaline to the last drop.
But I'm very very happy we made it.
This time also...
So now dear family and friends,
to go through all this is just because of you!
Because that is how much you mean to me.
How important you are to me and how much I value your love, friendship and company.
Love conquers all!
Even my own sick thoughts:)
todelooo
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