Today I'm happy!!!
Cuckoo!
I have a little lump in one of my breasts!
But today I found out it is nothing to be worried about!
I AM SO RELIEVED I just want to tell the whole world!!!!
This picture will have to visualise my happy state of mind today!
Before going on vacation I had a mammogram and ultra sound done!
Just before we left I first got an email telling me they found a little lump, then at the hotel I recieved several messages on my phone telling me to call the doctor and then finally a letter waiting for me at home confirming everything.
Gulp!!!
I consider myself being of a positive nature.
But it was so hard trying to think good thoughts and pretending to myself and everyone else everything was normal, because the "what if?" had so much power and proved to be very strong.
My thoughts were just thrown from the good side to the bad side and then back again the whole time...
I could not feel any lump or had no pain, no swollen lymph nodes or anything that would tell me there would be something wrong with me, which to me was a good sign, but obviously the ultrasound was trying to burst that balloon...
These passed weeks has had me in the worst emotional roller coaster ever.
I think it was the " not knowing" that was killing me.
I thought if I knew I suffered from something serious I could have dealt with it in a proper way.
Made up a plan...
But when you don't know, that is difficult.
I tried to not think about it.
(I can't tell you how many thoughts that crossed my mind during these weeks...)
I tried to think positive thoughts.
( I'm healthy, I'm good, there is a sun behind the clouds.)
I tried to act as normal as I could.
( that means being weird according to my kids)
And I managed very well.
Till the evil "but what if" decided to show its ugly face.
Then I fell again...
But today all fear disappeared!
Today I could enjoy the beautiful spring day without any clouds...
Today I'm so grateful for all and everything!
Today im so grateful to life!!! ( even though I turned out not to be in danger at all)
Happy feet enjoying the sun!
I can't really tell you what shined the most... My mind or the real sun...but life looks bright no matter:))
Tjingeling
Kommentarer
Anonym
Så skönt Maria att allt är bra! Jag vet precis vad du känt, jag har gått igenom detsamma. Det går inte att förklara den lättnad man känner.
Kram på dig
Annnika
❤️
Svar:
Maria Lacik
Anna
Älskade syster, jag är också glad och lättad! Nu kan du njuta av din vardag fullt ut. Kraaaam
Svar:
Maria Lacik
mamma
så underbart. inget får ju hända med mina barn varken sjukdomar eller annat ont
Svar:
Maria Lacik
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